You Better Watch Out...Santa!: THE SANTA TRAP by Jonathan Emmett

Hi there!

Welcome back to Satisfaction for Insatiable Readers…the site that aims to be on “Nice” list as opposed to the “Naughty”, unlike our little friend in today’s selection.

Remember when the days of writing letters to Santa (as opposed to emails…*grumble*) was a right of passage?  You know, simply a part of the whole holiday ritual.  Write letter to Santa.  Check!  Send it off to the North Pole.  Check!  Leave out cookies and milk for Santa and carrots with celery for the reindeer.  Check!  Those were the days.  Perhaps you are still writing them yourself (if so, yay!) or are helping to instill this cherished tradition within the little ones in your life (if so, double yay!)?  Any way you look at it though, you’re not only carrying on something children have done for ages around the world but reminding them (and yourself perhaps?) that good behavior should be practiced throughout the year…whether presents hang in the balance or not.  Something our little star of the day should have thought more than twice about.  Without further ado, today’s book of choice is…

The Santa Trap

By

Jonathan Emmett

Illustrated by

Poly Bernatene

Twas TEN DAYS before Christmas.

Or eleven depending on how you figure;

ALL the creatures were stirring,

With spoons, straws and finger. (ßEww, I know…it rhymes, just go with it)

Hot chocolate for me

Flavored coffee (blech) for you

Anything warm and delightful

To just get us through.

Through what, you might ask
Why this cold winter’s night;

When creatures are stirring

With all of their might!

What’s with all the stirring?

I’m getting there silly

Just be a bit more patient

Not so willy nilly.

The creatures doth stir

For they know in their hearts

Santa’s arrival is eminent

And the gifts he’ll impart.

But not this year,

If Bradley Bartleby has his way;

Santa will go DOWN his chimney

Just not out the same way.

He has plans for our elf

All jolly and red

And they do not include

A slice of freshly made nut bread.

No, this year he intends

To get just what he wants;

No more socks for this fellow,

Nor even elephants.

In fact he has given

His plan much much thought

And if things go his way

It means presents for us, not.

For who will deliver

The toys in the sleigh

Without a lively quick driver

Leading the way?

That’s right my dear readers

He intends to do him in,

But then again when has Santa

Let someone else win?

He’s a crafty old man

He’ll know just what to do

To avoid the menagerie

Of tiger teeth and elephant poo.

So fear not my friends

For Christmas will live to see another day

Despite the worst intentions of

One Bartleby, Brad-ley.

Whew!  That was an exercise and a half.  ^_^  Here’s hoping you enjoyed it as much as I; now on to the nitty gritty of this review. 

If you hadn’t caught on, I ADORED this book; not loved, ADORED.  The story itself is fantastic if dark because of Brat…I mean Bradley’s disposition.  He’s a spoiled little man from day one, in fact I’m surprised he was even receiving socks from Santa…COAL might have been too good for all the bad deeds he committed.  From biting the midwife to tying up the mailman and a good dozen or more in between, he is the representation of “bad to the bone” through and through…and yet Santa being the kind hearted soul he was still kept him in his gift-giving rotation.  Such a nice guy, that Santa…unlike the trap creating little boy about to get what’s coming to him… 

The steps young Bartleby takes to ensure this Christmas is not filled with warm footwear are creative if not disturbing and you can’t help but wonder how the jolly old elf will pull through.  Don’t worry kiddos, he does (so your presents will be safely delivered on Christmas…yay!) and with much finesse.  I won’t tell you how for seeing, in this case, is believing, but it’s astounding, hilarious and entertaining all at once.  The illustrations only make it even MORE enjoyable depicting Bad Boy Bartleby perfectly, well to me anyway, and all his devious plans.  I remember seeing this one on the cover of the publisher’s catalog and thinking, I MUST know what book that is from!  I simply MUST!  Just take a look at it up there…it says it all without ever uttering a word.  Marvelous indeed!

In conclusion, a GREAT new addition to anyone’s holiday reading list, only with a twist.  You’ll be shocked by his antics, surprised by his dedication (little guy definitely has follow through!) and laugh your holidays socks off at how things turn out in the end.  Recommended read for all ages as it works to remind little ones to be on their best behavior; slightly older ones that while you might not always get what you wished for Santa will not forget you; and older older readers that the magic of the season isn’t in the getting it’s in the giving.  This book is available now from Peachtree Publishers, so be on the lookout for it on a bookstore shelf near you.

ARC for review courtesy of Emily at Peachtree Publishers.  (THANKS!)  For more information on this title as well as their complete catalog of wish list worthy material, be sure to visit them online, check out their blog, pin them on Pinterest, like them on Facebook or follow along on Twitter.  ALSO, be sure to check out Bradley’s Twitter feed for the BrAdvent Calendar contest where FIVE lucky tweeters will be chosen to win a copy to call their own. 

Until next time…happy reading!