Zombies need love too...right?

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Welcome back to day two of the week long bookish love fest here at Satisfaction for Insatiable Readers….where you never quite know what we’ll be reviewing next, but you can be certain it’ll entertain and inform at the very least.  (I hope. *gulp*) 

Today’s choice is a bit of a stretch in the love department but only when you consider the topic without the title or story.  Today we are tackling…zombies.  Yep…those decomposing yet human looking critters that desire one thing and one thing only….FRESH BRAINS….or so you thought.  Author Lynn Messina is putting a new spin on things and let’s just say, the results may surprise you.  Before I get too far into things, allow me to introduce this post properly.  Today’s featured title and BOOK BIRTHDAY celebrant (congrats to the author!) is…

The Girls’ Guide to Dating Zombies

By

Lynn Messina

Hattie Cross knows what you're thinking: Zombie sex? Ewwwww. But she also knows that since a virus turned 99.9999 percent of human males into zombies, it's statistically impossible to meet--let alone date--the remaining 0.00001 percent. So she writes "The Girls' Guide to Dating Zombies" to help her fellow single women navigate the zombie-relationship waters.

Her practical how-to impresses the CEO of the largest drug company in the world, and before she knows it, Hattie, a reporter for a down-market tabloid that specializes in conspiracy theories, is sitting down with the woman who single-handedly invented the zombie-behavioral-modification market. Granted access to the inner sanctum of zombaceuticals, she meets an actual, living, breathing M-A-N.

Now Hattie, the consummate professional, is acting like a single girl at the end of the twentieth century: self-conscious, klutzy and unable to form a coherent sentence without babbling. Worst of all, the human male appears to have impaired her ability to think clearly. Because all of a sudden she's convinced a conspiracy is afoot at the drug company and it seems to go all the way to the top!

Sounds good, right?  Oh you don’t even know the half of it!  First let me say, I’m not a big fan of zombies not just as a reanimated creature in general but as a star in various stories.  In truth, I’ve had limited exposure, yes….but ALSO in truth, their basic-ness is what gets to me I think.  Its all “ooh….brains” and not much else and I like a good dose of the “much else”.  This book….this book takes zombies to a whole other level.  The appearance of them is explained by a virus that happens to only affect male humans and not every one of them but the vast majority leaving those left behind to act as the primadonnas that they desired to be.  A request for a peeled grape would be something to jump at in order to even gain a second of time with them for merely their presence let alone conversation.  Imagine, a world devoid of most males and those that are still around so sparse that a fine tooth comb would have a hard time locating them?  I’m all for girl power but yeah, I don’t think that’s the proper way to level the playing field.  Anywho…

Enter one Hattie Cross; the women’s answer in the year 2020 to ending the awkwardness when presented with the available dating pool….zombies.  *-*  (Yeah…I’m pretty sure I’d still be single…. ~shudders~)  If you’re looking for companionship, look no further than the slaughterhouse near you because today’s zombies are well fed (they don’t even eat human brains…only animal), well put together (literally…they’re not falling apart at the seams nearly as much), and just waiting to be made over by you.  They won’t argue, love shoe shopping and are ready to go (…and “go”, derive your own meaning there) whenever you are without complaint.  All they ask (well, grunt) for in return is a little direction (aka a tv to stare at mindlessly) and a package of Mrs. Yummikin’s Ready-to-Eat Prepackaged Preseasoned Brains now and then.  Women rule the world and men…well, they are more myth than reality…or are they?

You see, Hattie Cross is not just another woman of this century, she’s a reporter…sure she works at The Daily Scoopage but she has a mind to do REAL journalism if only given the chance.  Her big break is finally scoring an interview with the most powerful businesswoman in the market today….one Matilda Stansfield.  She’s the CEO of Geiser and Meyser, the company that created most of the zombecuticals on the market today, and a formidable presence with which to contend.  Though a shining star to the world, she is also privy to the secrets that tend to crop up in any corporation…and believe me those held here are a doozy.  Trust me, the twists and turns that the story takes are unbelievable…in a totally good way.  They surprise you as they step-drag their way around the next chapter, make you gasp when you think all is lost, and could possibly leave you with a smile on your face…depending upon where you are in the book.  ^_^

The combination self-help guide and story work well together…though I must admit I rather enjoyed the story more.  What can I say?  It’s just my preference….give me a good story and I’LL sit there like former said zombies and read it without minding the rest of the world.  Don’t be surprised if that happens to you with this one…it’s okay, you’re simply bookish!  A little word to the wise though….THIS BOOK IS NOT FOR THE KIDDOS.  Okay, so that wasn’t so little but it WAS necessary.  There are certainly blush worthy situations and language peppered throughout but take it for what it is…a work of HUMOR; it’s not always the purest in deliverance but the translation is what you make of it.

In conclusion, zombie dating may or may not be the next stage of evolution (let’s hope that’s a BIG not) but if it happened, you’d want Hattie’s book by your side to guide you through the ups and downs.  Though as I’ve stated, the zombie scene DEFINITELY wouldn’t be for me, I gotta say…the communication aspect would be SO much simpler.  No mind games…after all, you’re the only one with an actual mind.  You could say just what you mean without offending the other party or embarrassing yourself…I mean really, red is a good color for me, but not when I turn red.  *-*  In the mean time, the her story will provide you hours of entertainment with both shock, awe, embarrassment on her behalf and laughs that you might just want to snag your copy now BEFORE a zombpocolypse puts it in such demand that you can’t get one to save your soul….or reanimated soul mate.

Special thanks to Felicia at Martin Publicity for the review ebook.  (THANKS!)  For more information on this curiously good title or to pick up a few tips of your own, be sure to check out the official website which will also have all the links you need to her blog tour making its rounds this week in celebration of its publishing debut.  To discover more about the author behind the book (that would be Lynn Messina, not Hattie Cross though her bio is definitely interesting) as well as her previous works, be sure to visit her site, or follow along on Twitter. 

Until next time…HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY…and happy reading!